FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND
My friend Sam was a little unnerved when I once shared a "funeral playlist" of songs people could jam out to when I died. It's not a list of my favorite songs or selections to be played/performed at my memorial (if any). They are songs that capture that moment of goodbye, as well as songs embodying a certain philosophy, a way of life I appreciate. Think of the concert celebrating George Harrison, which was a joyous, happy affair. People played Beatles songs and Harrison solo songs and songs that meant something to him. At the event, his old pal Joe Brown capped it perfectly by strumming a ukulele and singing “I’ll See You In My Dreams.”
What's not to love about that?
I re-titled the playlist Michael's So Long, Farewell Mix but I don't think that placated my friend, who still found the whole thing creepy. Anyway, this the vibe I'm going for here: celebratory, fun, joyful. Because, apparently, some day I'm going to die. And (if and) when I do, it will be one more chance for me to encourage people to enjoy some of the things I love.
WHEN I DIE
You're reading this so, O.K., I've died. I'm as surprised as you are, maybe more. I loved movies and music and books (and lists, apparently). Wanna celebrate my life? Well, start by checking out the movies and albums I singled out as my favorites. Or you could scan my list of books and read some of the titles that intrigue you. Or watch some of my favorite TV shows. (The TV list is especially lacking–but hey, even TV critics can't keep up with it all, so give me a break.)
Go here:
MICHAEL'S FAVORITE MOVIES OF THE YEAR FROM 1924 TO THE PRESENT
MICHAEL'S FAVORITE ALBUMS OF THE YEAR FROM 1924 TO THE PRESENT
MICHAEL'S FAVORITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME -- LISTED BY RATING
MICHAEL'S FAVORITE TV SHOWS OF ALL TIME -- A SADLY DATED AND INCOMPLETE LIST
That's pretty daunting. I get it. I mean, what's with all the homework? But it's not homework. It's fun! But yeah, it's a lot. So I'll give you a starter kit, some movies and music and books and songs that should cheer you up just because they're so damn good. I'm emphasizing the fun stuff here, because I'm dead and you need a little consoling. If you didn't know me and you're wondering what I was like, what moved me and made me smile, well the following gives you a hint.
SOME MOVIES TO WATCH
ARTHUR
CASABLANCA
THE PHILADELPHIA STORY
THE LAST PICTURE SHOW
YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN
E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL
JAZZ ON A SUMMER'S DAY
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON
THE SOUND OF MUSIC
KOYAANISQATSI
THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD
STOP MAKING SENSE
THE LONG DAY CLOSES
ALBUMS TO LISTEN TO
SIMON & GARFUNKEL -- GREATEST HITS (1972)
BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS -- IT'S THE TALK OF THE TOWN AND OTHER SAD SONGS
ELLA FITZGERALD -- THE INTIMATE ELLA
DAVID GRAY -- WHITE LADDER
THE BEACH BOYS -- PET SOUNDS
JONI MITCHELL -- BLUE
BOB DYLAN -- BLOOD ON THE TRACKS
RICHARD AND LINDA THOMPSON -- POUR DOWN LIKE SILVER
FRANK SINATRA -- COME FLY WITH ME
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN -- NEBRASKA
THE BLUE NILE -- A WALK ACROSS THE ROOFTOPS
BOOKS TO READ (Some enjoyable favorites to cheer you up)
DANDELION WINE by Ray Bradbury
MY FAMILY AND OTHER ANIMALS by Gerald Durrell
HORATIO HORNBLOWER SERIES (in order of his career, so start with Midshipman Hornblower, which is merely good, but keep going, they get really great by book three) by C.S. Forester (And once you've done them, the Aubrey/Maturin novels of Patrick O'Brian await.)
A BOY AND A BEAR IN A BOAT by Dave Shelton
THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENTLEMAN by Laurence Sterne
DOONESBURY by Gary Trudeau
MICHAEL'S FUNERAL/MEMORIAL CELEBRATION
Wherever and whenever some people want to celebrate my life, here are some suggestions.
When: I prefer to remember and celebrate people's lives on their birthdays, not when they died. So why not wait until my next birthday on May 2? If that's too far away, just get together in a few weeks or months when it's convenient and have some fun. See a big dumb movie in a theater. Hang out at a coffee house. Share all things Michael!
What: Maybe you want to have a memorial, a celebration of my life (rather than a glum funeral). Well, that's lovely. Tell some jokes while you're at it. And no comments about how wonderful, kind and sweet I was. I had a temper, I talked to myself, I was argumentative and despite all that you still liked me. It reflects well on us both! Who wants to be friends with a noble and true heart? They're boring.
How: No funeral as such. No burial. A cremation (which is unfortunately expensive; I hope I have some money by the time I die) and spread my ashes anywhere and everywhere that was special. Central Park. Yankee Stadium outfield (maybe a la The Great Escape while taking a tour). The duck pond area in Gainesville. Berkeley Square in London. Maybe at Shakespeare's Globe, if there's a planter or something to drop them in? Our family beach in Bermuda. Pompano Beach Tennis Center. Cannes (ideally on the beach near La Pizza or I suppose anywhere near the Palais will do.) You get the idea!
Things To Read Out Loud or Print in a pamphlet people can take home and then toss away weeks later, guiltily:
(Also, a friend's hand-out included his favorite films, so you might include my top film from every year and my top albums, too)
"Golden lads and girls all must
As chimney-sweepers, come to dust"
–Shakespeare, "Fear no more the heat o' th' sun" from Cymbeline
When I have fears, as Keats had fears,
Of the moment I'll cease to be,
I console myself with vanished years,
Remembered laughter, remembered tears,
And the peace of the changing sea.
– Nöel Coward
"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."
J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
Good Night
Sleep softly my old love
my beauty in the dark
night is a dream you know
as you know as you know
night is a dream you know
an old love in the dark
around you as you go
without end as you know
in the night where you go
sleep softly my old love
without end in the dark
in the love that you know
–W.S. Merwin
"The Road Goes Ever On And On"
The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
Chapter 3, The Fellowship of the Ring
" 'Well, here at last, dear friends," [said Gandalf], "on the shores of
the Sea comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I
will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.'
Then Frodo kissed Merry and Pippin, and last of all Sam, and went aboard;
and the sails were drawn up, and the wind blew, and slowly the ship slipped
away down the long grey firth; and the light of the glass of Galadriel that
Frodo bore glimmered and was lost.
J.R.R. Tolkien from The Lord Of The Rings
Music To Play:
When someone I knew died and I needed to grieve, I played Strauss's Four Last Songs to mark the moment. If you like classical music, by all means keep the tradition going. But here are some recordings I'd like to be interspersed throughout any memorial. They're kind of teary, but hey, it's a memorial.
PHILIP GLASS -- "Glassworks: I. Opening"
JESSE WINCHESTER -- "Sham-A-Ling-Dong-Ding"
THE EVERLY BROTHERS -- "All I Have To Do Is Dream"
RANDY NEWMAN -- "Dayton, Ohio – 1903"
THE BEATLES -- "Here Comes The Sun" (at the end, when you're stepping back outside into the light of day)
MICHAEL'S SO LONG, FAREWELL PLAYLIST
In case the link above is broken or whatever, here's a playlist of songs, a temp track to that montage of my life playing through your head. It's a collection of songs that capture a vibe, an approach to life I appreciate, as well as the bittersweet moment of saying goodbye.
THE BEATLES -- "All You Need Is Love"
VERA LYNN -- "We'll Meet Again"
SIMON & GARFUNKEL -- "The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)" from Greatest Hits (1972)
VAN MORRISON -- "Into The Mystic"
BING CROSBY -- "Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive" (w The Andrews Sisters)
CAT STEVENS -- "If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out"
THE BEATLES -- "The End"
THE BEACH BOYS -- "Be Still" or "Summer's Gone"
ELLA FITZGERALD -- "Dream A Little Dream Of Me"
BEN RECTOR -- "Make Something Beautiful"
JOHN LENNON -- "Watching The Wheels"
KAREN DALTON -- "Little Bit Of Rain"
TOM PETTY -- "Wildflowers"
THE WHO -- "Blue Red and Grey"
LEON REDBONE -- "I'll See You In My Dreams"
THE NEW ORLEANS KNIGHTS -- "Enjoy Yourself"
BILLIE HOLIDAY -- "We'll Be Together Again"
THE FLAMING LIPS – "Do You Realize??"
THE BEATLES -- "Here Comes The Sun"
CHARMIAN CARR, ET AL -- "So Long, Farewell" (from the film soundtrack The Sound Of Music)
LAURIE ANDERSON -- "Lighting Out For The Territories"
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