James Bond Jr. Makes His Debut

"Stormbreaker" -- the first movie adventure of Alex Rider -- makes its world premiere tonight in the UK. If you've got a son or nephew under 16, they can probably tell you about Rider, the hero of a series of books accurately described as being like "James Bond Jr," with our orphaned lad getting very cool training and going off to fight the bad guys for the British government. It's like Frankie Muniz's Agent Cody Banks, but serious. The creator of the books -- Anthony Horowitz -- is also the creator of one of my favorite mystery shows, "Foyle's War."

Lemonheads in London

The fellows at NYCD: The Blog asked for it and so here it is: a UK review (less than loving) of Lemonheads in concert.

"Little Britain" Creators Dishing Out More

The BBC has signed up the creators of the quirky "Little Britain" series for more shows. Some characters will be found in their own series; plus, there will be one or two "Little Britain" Christmas specials. Anyone who hasn't watched this bizarre series that is very much akin to "The League of Gentlemen," "Python," et al is in for a twisted treat.

Oprah Still Isn't Gay

She and Gayle King talk about the rumors (again) in the latest issue of O. Oprah says she can understand why people are confused because "there isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between two women." Uh, how about "best friend?" But then comes the really crazy talk:

"Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own. Whatever this friendship is, it's been a very fun ride."

So What Color Is Fox?

Everyone mocked ABC -- under the wildly successful reign of Susan Lyne -- when it chose an official color to brand the network in all its advertising. (The color was a cheery yellow.) Now the new CW network has chosen a sort of lime green to do the same thing. So what color are the other networks? CBS Is obviously grey (its viewers are so old), NBC is a sort of faded rainbow (that once glorious peacock is rather muted now that NBC is in foourth place) and Fox is surely a gaudy neon red (with Fox News sticking to the more basic blood Red). HBO is gold because it sets the gold standard for dramas and its audience is so wealthy. Showtime is camoflauge because no matter how good its shows are the channel remains invisible. Hell, I could go on for days.

Radio Nirvana -- Just Out Of Reach

First I have to spend weeks reading about the weekly Bob Dylan show on XM radio. Not only is it the very type of show I'd like to do myself (a show that explores a theme through various recordings spanning different genres and eras of music) but it's Bob Dylan. Now I'm reading about a delightful series that explores the music of the '40s in a witty, charming format that apes the style of the day a la an urban, sophisticated spin on "Prairie Home Companion." And so naturally, it's not available in New York or even online. Grrr.

"Gilmore Girls" -- Life Ain't Fun In Stars Hollow

Maybe one more year of the once beloved but exhausted show wasn't such a good idea. The critics' convention in California found the cast of "GG" peppered with difficult questions. Star Lauren Graham awkwardly tried to deal with questions about the idiotic behaviour of her character in the last two years -- behaviour she herself has criticized in print. And almost anything she said would seem like a stab at departed creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, which Graham quite reasonably had no interest in doing. Then it all climzed with the rather bizarre story of the new show runner, who apparently had a SERIOUS obsession with model Heidi Klum. Let's hope the new show runner can actually put the show back on track for this last go-around.

On The British Charts

George Michael of Wham! never really went away in the UK. He's remained a big star and his greatest hits collection a few eyars ago was a massive seller. Still, he takes so much time off between albums that every new one FEELS like a comeback. And the first single from his latest has fizzled, debuting at #13 and dropping in week two to #26. On the fairly static album charts, it's a happy day for new band Guillemots. Their CD debuts at #17 AND makes the short list of the acclaimed Mercury Prize. (More on that later.)

Who Killed Mickey Spillane?

Oh right, pulp fiction author Mickey Spillane is dead, they won't release the details of why or how and we're supposed to believe he died peacefully? I ask you again, who killed Mickey Spillane? Until the mystery is solved, enjoy this description of a scene from his breakout book "I, The Jury" --

Hammer became so angry at a female psychiatrist that he shot her in her “stark naked” stomach. (“Stark naked” was a phrase that Mr. Spillane rather liked.) As she died, she asked, “Mike, how could you?” To which Hammer replied, “It was easy.”

Is There Less News Around Today?

Apparently so, because all the news that's fit to print will suddenly have to fit into a smaller space. The New York Times is cutting down the size of its newspaper by making the pages one and a half inch narrower. It's a shame they don't take the more radical step that has swept the UK newspaper industry: almost every paper (even the most august) has gone to a "tabloid" format and found substantial increases in readership. If you want to know what it would look like, just turn the NYTimes on its side and cut off about two inches -- the result is much more compact and encourages the art department to get a lot more inventive in layout, not to mention including bigger photos. It doesn't mean dumbing down the news -- it means making the newspaper easier to read (literally -- the tabloid layout is just simpler to handle).

New DVDs

Check out my weekly column covering the DVDs coming out today. In one and a half sentences each, I try to describe a DVD (sometimes a TV series with 22 episodes), give a flavor for what it's like, tell you my critical opinion and describe the extras. It ain't easy! Among the DVDs out today: Pee'wee Herman's original HBO special, teen comedy "She's The Man" and Patrick Swayze's B-movie extravaganza "Road House."

How Could They Cancel "Deadwood?"

I just realized HBO probably saw all (or almost all) of the new season of "Deadwood" when they decided to cancel it. That makes their decision all the more infuriating. "Deadwood" has been better than ever, with a breakout performance by Gerald McRaney that is as gripping as Ian McShane's original appearance as Swearengen. (And how funny is it that Swearengen now seems like a reasonable guy?) HBO kept "Arliss" on the air for years because they knew a core group of fans were happy to pay for HBO 12 months a year just to see those new episodes. "Deadwood" surely achieves the same purpose, not to mention the aura of being a critics' darling that makes HBO the place to be. Last night's episode was a corker and I can't wait for the rest. I almost wish they hadn't agreed to do those final four hours -- any attempt to tie up the storylines will seem rushed and unnecessary compared to the hilarious, profane heights the show is currently scaling. Oh and I finally enjoyed "Entourage" last night for the first time. Either it's growing on me or they just got lucky for once. (I'm pretty sure it wasn't because of the threesome.)

Omigod! A "Friends" Reunion!!!!

Not exactly. All Jennifer Anniston actually said to the UK press was, "The only thing I can think of doing is maybe for fun doing a Thanksgiving episode," she said. Perfectly reasonable comment since that was the initial rumor when the show ended -- that NBC pay them millions to do a Thanksgiving special. It would in fact be a relatively organic one-off idea -- and maybe now Anniston would be willing to do it since she finally has a hit film to her credit (sort of) with "The Break-Up." God knows everyone else should be very available and by now they realize "Friends" will always be the biggest and best thing they ever do. But Anniston wasn't talking about any plans to do a reunion, just casually suggesting the form it would take if it ever did happen. Which it isn't. For the moment. And now she and all the others will have to answer questions about this for the next few years. Until they actually DO a reunion special. (But you can bet one thing -- even if it's set during Thanksgiving, it'll air in November when the huge ratings can boost a sweeps month.)

The 50 Most Influential Albums of All Time

Don't yell at me: this list comes from the Observer in London. I still haven't finished my list of the best CDs from the first half of the year. The Top Ten:

1. The Velvet Underground and Nico -- The Velvet Underground and Nico
2. The Beatles -- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (remember, this is the most INFLUENTIAL albums -- you may like other Beatles albums more -- I certainly do -- but Pepper was clearly the one that convinced the world pop music was an art form)
3. Kraftwerk -- Trans-Europe Express (Proof that this list came from Europe)
4. NWA -- Straight Outta Compton
5. Robert Johnson -- King of the Delta Blues Singers
6. Marvin Gaye -- What's Going On?
7. Patti Smith -- Horses (maybe the top 50, but the top ten? And above Dylan?)
8. Bob Dylan -- Bringing It All Back Home
9. Elvis Presley -- Elvis
10. The Beach Boys -- Pet Sounds

Patrick Swayze -- A Man's Man...Appearing In A Musical

Times are good for Patrick Swayze. A new special edition of "Road House" has just come out on DVD. And now he's appearing in the West End in "Guys & Dolls" (a charming revival I saw when Ewan McGregor was in the lead). Despite singing and dancing in a musical (which is the least manly thing a man can do), Swayze maintains his alpha male attitude:

"[My dad] was the loving one, he had that beautiful cowboy energy. But he was also a serious man. He used to say to me: 'If you ever start a fight, I'll kick your butt, and if you don't finish one, I'll kick your butt.'

"I live in the last part of the US where it's not all about lawyers. If you mess somebody over, they're not going to sue you, they're going to shoot you. I like those odds. Like my dad, I really do live a cowboy life."

Dang, now that's a man. Heck, it sounds like he even probably voted for Bush.

M. Night Shyamalan Headed For A Fall

Everyone seems to agree director M. Night Shyamalan is egotistical (so are half the directors in Hollwyood, of course, so this isn't news). But the bad buzz surrounding the confusing "Lady in the Water" keeps building. Is it a mermaid movie? (No.) Is it a horror movie? (Not really, but sort of.) The reviews from Variety and Hollywood Reporter are bad. And the NY Post says this could mean the collapse of his career.

Relax. However "LITW" does, Shyamalan will be fine. If Disney execs were smart to pass on this project and Warner Bros. execs prove stupid for picking it up, I'll wager now that the exec who says yes to his NEXT project will look smartest of all. Shyamalan is a name-brand director with an extremely strong track record of movies that left critics cold but packed 'em in. The Sixth Sense -- $293 mil. Unbreakable -- $95. Signs -- $227. The Village -- $114. (And you can more than double those grosses for their worldwide take.) Even if "LITW" dips closer to the $100 mil than $200 mil mark, he is clearly a director with a solid commercial touch.

"America's Got Talent" -- Summer Fun Or Genuine Hit?

NBC desperately wants to think "America's Got Talent" is a breakout hit that can comepete during the regular season. (They've even penciled it in for Sundays in Jan. after football ends.) Please. Leave it in summer where it belongs. It would just be an annoyance any other time of the year.

Weekend Box Office -- Aaarrghhhh

How long can I keep working "Aaarghhh" into my headlines? As long as "Pirates of the Caribbean" keeps setting records. Look at "Cars" still chugging along and making a fool out of the people who said it was a flop. It wil probably pass "X-Men: The Last Stand" to become the second highest grossing movie of the year so far. And Al Gore is still raking it in.

1. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest -- $62.2 mil ($258.2 mil total)
2. Little Man -- $21.7 mil
3. You, Me & Dupree -- $21.3 mil
4. Superman Returns -- $11.6 ($163.6 mil)
5. The Devil Wears Prada -- $10.5 mil ($83.6 mil)
6. Cars -- $7.5 mil ($219.7 mil)
7. Click -- $7 mil ($119.7 mil)
8. The Lake House -- $1.6 mil ($48.9 mil)
9. Nacho Libre -- $1.5 ($77.1 mil)
10. A Scanner Darkly -- $1.2 mil ($1.8 mil)
11. An Inconvenient Truth -- $1.1 mil ($17 mil)
12. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift -- $1.0 mil ($59.7 mil)

Aaarghhh! "Pirates" Steals More Records

"Pirates of the Caribbean" now holds the record for fastest to $100 mil (two days), fastest to $200 mil (eight days), biggest opening weekend, biggest opening week, etc., etc. Boxofficemojo reports that "Pirates" grossed some $19 mil on Friday, followed by "Little Man" at $17.6 mil and "You, Me & Dupree" at $7.3 mil. (Sadly in fourth place was "Superman" with $3.2 mil and a forlorn hope of breaking $10 mil for the weekend.) I'll let the analysts break all the potential weekend grosses out. But certainly I was right and Box Office Prophets was wrong when they said "Little Man" would gross only $10 mil and I said $20 was much more likely. But what really surprises is that Hollywood Reporter had to quote the website BoxOfficeMojo for the figures (unlike Variety). Shouldn't the Hollywood Reporter be the source of info for most people instead of them having to link to a website for info? How far the Net has come.

Johnny Cash -- Still The Man (In Black)

There's something about a great singer at the end of their life. Their voice is a shadow of what it used to be, but they know so much about singing that they can plumb the depths of a song like never before. The frustrated ones can't get past the fact that their voice simply won't do what they tell it to anymore. The great ones know how to use what they have. Frank Sinatra. Maxine Sullivan. Ella Fitzgerald. Some of my favorite songs by them came at the end of their careers. And now Johnny Cash. His last album was almost painful to hear -- I think it's because Cash felt that frustration, not to mention the death of his wife and the sickness stealing over his body like a stain. But now on "American V: A Hundred Highways," he seems much more at peace. His voice still had its good days (a wonderfully strong take on the righteous standard "God's Gonna Cut You Down") and its bad ones (the whispery frailness on the last song he ever wrote "Like The 309"). But Cash seems to have come to peace with his voice, not to mention the death staring him in the face. The result is singing that is transfixing, even when tackling the maudlin Gordon Lightfoot tune "If You Could Read My Mind" (which sounds a LOT more compelling when Cash sings it) or Rod McKuen's "Love's Been Good To Me," which even Cash can't rescue other than to offer a little much needed dignity. Plus, he and producer Rick Rubin avoid the formula they almost fell into of including a wacky rock cover or two on every album just to keep the kids listening. Larry Gatlin's lovely "Help Me." Springsteen's compelling "Further On Up The Road." Hank Williams' "On The Evening Train." Seriously good songs sung with the fervor they deserve. This isn't bleak like "American IV" (which I also liked). It's elegiac, which is becoming my favorite adjective for describing the works of art that calm and compel me at the same time. Wonderful stuff here. Listen.

Pee-wee Is Loved

Paul Reubens told some genuinely charming stories on late night TV this past week. But what suddenly struck me was the simple fact that both David Letterman and Conan O'Brien had Reubens on in order to promote RERUNS of a show that had last aired on TV some 15 years ago. RERUNS. That's how respected his delightful, innovative work is by Reuben's peers.

Wussy Awards Coverage

I'm sure it's just jealousy (why aren't I the person to cover awards for the LA Times) but really. First their awards section The Envelope defends this year's Emmy nominations. Their argument in short -- if you saw what episodes were put up, you'd understand why the nominations turned out the way they did. My argument -- the actual process is meaningless. The purpose of the Emmys is to award the best shows on TV and when they fail to do that by almost every measure (Will & Grace gets the most nominations and few or none for shows like My Name Is Earl, Everybody hates Chris, Gilmore Girls, Entourage, Veronica Mars, Battlestar: Galactica -- in other words, the best shows on TV) then the awards aren't working. Now they BOLDLY talk about the Oscar race six months in advance. And what do they do? They list 43 movies to keep an eye on. 43! That's 43!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Talk about hedging your bets. I can name 43 movies coming out in 2007 and probably hit at least 4 out of the 5 Best Picture nominations. How incredibly lame.

And Now Some Work...

I'm off to interview Brittany Snow, the delightful star of TV's "American Dreams" (which I still miss) and the upcoming teen comedy "John Tucker Must Die." (Great title.) And then off to the Yankee game.

Will "Little Man" Be A Big Hit?

Two weekends ago, the reliable Box Office Prophets -- who apparently have access to tracking data that I don't -- said "The Devil Wears Prada" would be lucky to gross $10 mil opposite "Superman Returns" and that $50 mil was a longshot. I thought they were crazy -- Meryl Streep looked hilarious, Anne Hathaway had a lot of goodwill from "The Princess Diaries," the reviews were strong, it was based on a popular book and everyone can identify with "the boss from hell." I said it would do much better and could conceivably hit $100 mil. I was right. Now this weekend, BOP is predicting a miserable $10 mil for the new Wayans comedy "Little Man." Yes, the trailers are painfully unfunny. But the Wayans are automatic, at least for the opening weekend. And they're coming off the $70 mil for "White Chicks." I'd be shocked if they made less than $15 mil and $20 mil is much more likely. Though how much it drops off in the second weekend is anybody's guess.

Weezer Is Dead; Long Live Weezer

Rivers Cuomo says don't hold your breath for a new Weezer album. Their latest CD quoted Shakespeare's last play "The Tempest" -- somehow giving people the idea this might be their last album -- and Cuomo says that looks likely. Of course, he's a pretty confused guy. He's been writing tunes but insists, "I don't know what'll happen with these songs -- if anything. ... I certainly don't see them becoming Weezer songs, and I don't really see the point of a solo career. So we'll just have to see." Okaaaay. I guess that leaves forming a new band. His label rightly says, Whatever, he's said this sort of thing before.

Usher Joins "Chicago" On Broadway

His gig starts August 22. The producers have a gift for shoehorning celebrities into their shows regardless of talent or suitability. But Usher as Billy Flynn is a really intriguing matchup.

"Pirates" Is A Hit! You're All Fired!

Disney responded to the massive success of "Pirates of the Caribbean" by firing a "substantial" number of employees and reducing the number of movies it releases from 18 to 8. Frankly, releasing eight movies a year hardly constitutes a major movie studio -- 12 at least means one movie a month, roughly and increases your chances of success. Eight movies means every single one of them needs to do well or your DVD division wil suffer the following year. Indeed, there's no room for error whatsoever when you only make eight movies a year. Some idiots proclaimed "Cars" a disaster -- even though it's chugging along towards the average $250 mil gross that (remarkably) Pixar films have made. But how would the flops "Annapolis" or the animated flick "The Wild" have been treated if they were 25% of the Disney's annual output? Or does Disney plan to magically cut out only the flops? And in the final bit of idiocy, all Disney movies will be branded as "Disney" films as they phase out Touchstone. Why? Because "Disney" films make more money. Now how many of you would have stayed away from "Pirates" if the little logo at the beginning of the movie had been "Touchstone?" I thought so. None.

Springsteen Adds Tracks To New Album For Europe

This is hardly news -- many artists add bonus tracks for overseas editions of their new album. (It's practically the law in Japan where fans are fanatic about b-sides, etc.) But since "The Seeger Sessions" is so much fun, I can't help but look forward to the Sept. 5 UK edition of the album that will include the song "American Land" (a show opener) and the powerful sing-along "Bring 'Em Home." Now if only he'd drop "Eyes on the Prize" and add the rousing "How Can A Poor Man Stand Such Times and Live?" I'd be really happy.

Hugh Laurie Gets Big Boost For "House"

He didn't get the Emmy nomination he so richly deserved. But actor Hugh Laurie did get a big pay raise that pushed his per-episode salary from about $50,000 each to $300,000 each. That means he'll get about $7 million a year plus a small piece of the backend. Not so much when you consider the show wil reap hundreds of millions in syndication and on DVD. Laurie had to extend his contract a year in order to renegotiate his salary so "House" will be around for at least four more years. That's a lot of mysterious illnesses and cranky asides to come up with.

New Superman Says He Won't Break His Contract

Actor Brandon Routh is over in the UK promoting "Superman Returns," which is getting blase reviews from the British critics. He had this to say about a possible sequel: "As long as we can make the characters interesting, and stay true to what we have done in this first film, I would be more than happy to be a part of it," said Routh to the Times of London. Uh, that's nice, Brandon, since the contract you signed means you HAVE to do at least one sequel if not two.