The Waves Are Blown Out Today

In other words, minimal popsurfing today. Woke up late, more than an hour and a half on the phone with Billy Connolly, ("We'll have lunch; I'm not afraid of a little gay!" he boomed) and now running out to sell DVDs and check out two concerts: the British blue-eyed soulster James Hunter (terrific album) and then Americana act Oakley Hall. In between, I'll be reading the second book in a fantasy trilogy by Naomi Novik that crosses the Napoelonic era with dragons. Oh and reading the papers, grabbing lunch, etc. Welcome to my world.

Surfing Through "Flight 93"

Havent' seen it yet. (The movie plays at Cannes out of competition and it'll be interesting to see how the terrorist-weary Europeans will treat our focus on 9-11.) But the Hollywood Reporter gives a very strong review to the film and Variety's is even stronger. My friend Monkeyboy says it was good, better than he expected but doesn't think it'll be commercial.

What I'll Be Seeing At Cannes

The official lineup for Cannes has just been announced (a bit early by recent standards). So after The Da Vinci Code opens things up with an anti-Catholic bang, I'll be checking out Richard Linklater's "Fast Food Nation" (which is a drama); a musical comedy called "Southland Takes" starring Mandy Moore, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott (aka Stiffler) and...wait for it...The Rock;Sofia Coppola's costume drama; Ken Loach's The Wind That Shakes The Barley" (remind me to brush up on my folk tunes), Brad Pitt and Gael Garcia Bernal in "Babel;" the New Aki Kaurismaki; the new Almodovar and a midnight showing of John Cameron Mitchell's naughty hardcore film "Shortbus;" among others. Sounds promising, actually.

Surfing Through "American Idol"

Bye-bye Ace. At least he looked prepared this time, resigned to his fate rather than shocked. But why was Chris Daughtry in the bottom two? Was it because his fan base hated hearing him perform "What A Wonderful World," no matter how well he sang it? Next week, he'll try and pretend some Metallica tune is a "love song" (the vague theme of the week). Being in the bottom two is good because it lets Chris be a bit of an underdog (he's been wrongly pegged as the front-runner). But it does point out a weakness -- next week he has to sing a love song and if he makes it to the finale, one of the two songs he has to perform will be an ill-fitting pop ballad that his competition (Taylor? Katherine?) will be able to handle with ease. And of course the people who like hard rock are not the biggest fans of "American Idol." And wasn't Rod Stewart weak? He mimed out the lyrics of the song (hugging himself, pointing skyward, etc.) as hammily as Ace pointing out his scar. And next week's guest is Andrea Bocelli? The show is REALLY getting middle-aged, making the story in the NYT how every record label is desperate to get their top acts on look even more stupid. Heck, Kelly Clarkson didn't even want her SONGS on the show. "Nashville Star" gets every top act in country music but the much bigger "Idol" can't get a guest artist under 50.

Hello, Billy!

Sorry about that. Just got off the phone with Socttish comic Billy Connolly. The publicist got the times wrong -- I was expecting him at 4 p.m. and the phone started ringing off the hook at 11 a.m. Could have been a disaster since I didn't have my notes written out, was barely awake, sitting in my jammies -- but he's a great talker and very friendly. I tend to jump around in my questions -- a bit free form -- and that's certainly how his mind works. Got on the phone at 11:15 and just got off at 12:45. I love good, long talks but god help me I dread the transcribing.

Surfing Through "Gilmore Girls"

Written and directed by creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, at least this episode felt like "Gilmore Girls." (The last original episode felt like a remake of the show, if that makes any sense -- the same characters, but everything was...wrong.) But how far have they drifted away from the core of these characters?

Michel -- yes, he's "rude," but Michel has never ever been indifferent to Lorelai. Are we really supposed to believe he would back out of a wedding a few minutes before it began to go to a Celine Dion concert? This makes him really hateful, not drolly amusing. And I've mentioned before how this show has a weird thing about gay characters. Michel makes a Judy Garland reference, says he's a great dancer and dumps Lorelai for Celine? Let him come out already. It's just sad and creepy they keep "hinting" that Michel is gay but refuse to let him acknowledge it. And surely Rory and Lorelai are savvy enough to have clued in by now. But mostly it was annoying have him actually behave like a jerk instead of pretending to be a jerk but actually caring, which is the heart of Michel.

Rory -- Wasn't she a sweet, caring kid who yearned for a real relationship with her biological dad? So why is Rory behaving like a spoiled brat who is annoyed by his constantly texting her the first few days after they both got a new phone toy? Last year, Rory was a pill. This year, she's just annoying -- hating the idea of her grandparents paying a visit (right, when Rory has always had a good relationship with them -- that was supposed to be the difference between her and Lorelai) and now not even wanting to hear from her dad? Ridiculous.

Lorelai -- Getting drunk and feeling self-pity because everyone is getting married but her? Wrong. When Rory's dad mentioned Rory might get married next, her reaction would not have been to feel like a loser. It would have been to react with alarm and concern -- she wouldn't be jealous of Rory; she would be worried for Rory since she doesn't think Logan is right for her daughter. Enough with the pouting.

The Dangers of Tivo

Watching TV used to be an agonizing experience, with endless commercials interrupting the flow of a show. Sometimes, an artful cliffhangar could make a commercial break tantalizing. But that was back in the day when hour long dramas would only get interrupted say, three times. Now, hour long shows have five or six or even more commercial breaks, ruining any potential build-up of excitement. So thank God for DVRs, which let you tape shows easily and breeze through the commercials. But now I've discovered a new menace. When you watch a show with friends, the DVR lets you stop the action repeatedly to laugh over a line, argue over a plot twist or complain about a performance, a line, or the direction of the series. Directorboy and I set a new record last night: we stopped the show one second into "previously on Gilmore Girls" recap and started to complain. I imagine a show's creator would weep if they could see how viewers slice and dice the viewing experience of their carefully crafted shows.

The West End's Biggest Hit? It Stars Johnny and Baby

What's the biggest hit in the West End? Is it the smash, critically acclaimed adaptation of "Billy Elliot?" Nope. Is it the coming US import "Wicked," based on "The Wizard of Oz?" Wrong. Maybe it's "Spamalot" from the beloved comedy troupe Monty Python? No. The biggest hit in the West End is "Dirty Dancing -- The Classic Story On Stage." The show was a massive hit in Australia and now it's come to the UK. The show hasn't opened yet. Heck it hasn't even been CAST yet. (Thousands showed up this week for an open audition.) But the name alone has already sold out the first two months of its run and nearly $5 million in ticket sales. Imagine what'll happen when they actually get a cast.

The UK Box Office

Most notable? An Indian film squeaking into the Top Ten. (A typical Bollywood romance, it's about two young people who have already been set for arranged marriages who keep bumping into each other and...gasp! fall in love. ("Alien Autopsy" is an attempted big screen breakthrough for lovable TV presenters Ant and Dec -- vaguely based on a true story, it's about two guys who buy footage of a "real" alient autopsy, only to find the footage has been wiped clean and they have to recreate their own version to present to the shady backers behind them.)

1. Ice Age 2
2. Scary Movie 4
3. Inside Man
4. Take The lead
5. She's The Man
6. An American Haunting
7. Alien Autopsy
8. Failure To Launch
9. The Shaggy Dog
10. Humko Deewana Kar Gaye

UK Music Charts -- Michael Jackson Still Kicking

And here I'd just written him off. Michael Jackson's song "Smooth Criminal" debuts at #19 on the UK charts. (That's actually a rather modest debut for the tiny UK market.) Apparently they're reissuing some 20 Jackson singles loaded up with extras and collectors are happily snapping them up. On the album charts, the terrific rap artist The Streets debuts at Number One with his album "The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living." This despite his first single "When You Wasn't famous" dropping like a stone. Mary J. Blige's duet with U2 on "One" (named in a British poll as the best single of all time)is in the Top Three and Shayne Ward (a star on "The X Factor" -- the UK equivalent to "Idol") debuts at Number Two with his new song right before his album hits stores. And my current personal favorite Corrine Bailey Rae has a top Ten single with "Put Your Records On" while her debut CD is back in the Top Five on the album charts.

"Mamma Mia" To Become A Movie

The smash hit musical "Mamma Mia" will be turned into a film, with Tom Hanks one of the producers. In typical hyperbole, the British press said the film -- which has no talent signed on yet, much less a distributor, a script or a start date for filming -- could be out "by the end of the year." Uh, Christmas of 2007 is far more likely. People used to think a movie would kill the box office for a stage show. But in the last decade, whether the film has been a hit ("Chicago") or a flop ("The Phantom of the Opera," "Rent") the main result has been a BOOST in ticket sales for the stage production.

New York Times Discovers "American Idol"

Guess what? A guest appearance on "American Idol" can spike sales for a recording artist and even having their songs covered can mean an increase in sales. That's the startling revelation in the New York Times about the Number One show in the country. ONe clue they point to? The fact that Daniel Powter's song "Bd Day" has been featured every week on the show for two months and went to Number One. That's the thuddingly obvious insight at the NYTimes, but of course they still get it wrong. The article implies that major acts are dying to appear on the show as guests and that "Idol" producers have the pick of the industry. Wrong. The real story is that despite their massive ratings, "Idol" has to depend on middle of the road, aging acts like Kenny Rogers, Paul Anka, Barry Manilow (the only one to really help the kids with his pointers and arrangements -- he should be on every year), Stevie Wonder, Rod Stewart, etc. -- Granny music, I'd call it. The musical guests are HEAVILY weighted towards aging stars. Since the theme weeks rarely focus on one act, country week for example could have included any hot act in the world, from Brad Paisley and Alan Jackson to Rascal Flatts and the Dixie Chicks. But the hottest country act they could round up was Kenny Rogers. In other words, despite the appearance of Shakira (and Latin artists are much more used to cheesy variety shows), cool contemporary acts are still avoiding Idol as uncool.

Michael Jackson's Uttter Collapse

It's not desperately avoiding bankruptcy by selling off all his assets. It's not endless accusations of child molestation he either spends his way out of or slips past with high-priced lawyers. It's not watching Neverland get padlocked while the amusement park starts to look like Coney Island in the 80s. Nope, for me the final collapse of Michael Jackson comes when the singer who is one of the biggest selling acts of all time says he's going to record his next album for the Bahrain-based label Two Seas Records. It's as if Jerry Seinfeld became so toxic he had to launch his next sitcom in North Korea. They say the album will be out in 2007, which translated into Michael Jackson-ese means somewhere around 2012.

Surfing Through "American Idol"

What a difference a day makes! After several weeks of trulyy dreadful performances that made me feel they should just call off the finale, "American Idol" finally had a good week. (By the way, the show truly should be called "Middle-Aged American Idol" with middle-of-the-road fogeys like Barry Manilow, Kenny Rogers and Rod Stewart on the show. Can't they get anyone under 60?)

Chris Daughtry -- my initial reaction was, "He's just won 'American Idol.'" Daughtry sang "What A Wonderful World" and even cheesier than his song choice was his statement that the song had "so many values" that he believes in. (These kids are ruthless politicians and don't you forget it.) Then we saw him sitting down mid-song next to the soulful black man strumming an acoustic guitar and it was so over-the-top hokey I was laughing. But the crucial element? He sang it very, very well. That's not even a song I want to hear (even sung by Louis Armstrong) since it's been played to death, but Daughtry did a very convincing, un-wimpy and sincere version. If he'd sung "Under Pressure" the week before and hit it out of the park the way he did this song, he'd be a shoe-in.

Paris Bennett -- looked great and did a solid job. She has such a great, distinctive voice, that if she toured with a big band or jazz group and worked on her singing for the next decade, she could become a really good jazz singer. Even here, Paris sang the melody before starting to riff on it, and showed control and maturity. But still, lost a little personality on the low notes and didn't quite nail it. But shows great promise. Still young.

Taylor Hicks -- when he was done with "You Send Me," I thought, 'Ok, maybe Daughtry doesn't have this title sewn up." Another terrific performance, I thought, with Taylor singing rather than vamping or trying to be soulful. And when he dug into it at the end, he really pulled it off.

Elliot Yamin -- a tad dorky and I've never been a fan, so I tried just listening to him while closing my eyes and I found him more enjoyable. But he was hampered by a weak arrangement of cheesey female backup singers and -- in a problem I noticed with Paris and that got worse and worse the rest of the night -- the band was too languid and laid back. The tempo never varied even as he reached the climax; if the band had picked up the pace a little bit, it would have urged him on. As it was, he was held back just to stay in time with them. Never would have been great, but could have gone from good to very good.

Kellie -- Guys, date her; just don't make me listen to her. Actually, for the first few bars, I was taken aback. The first four performances (after weeks of dreadful performances from almost everyone) were good to great. And for a moment I thought Kellie was going to shock me and be good as well. Then she fell apart, off-key, shrill, and weak, weak, weak. Sorry, but jokes and a bubbly personality ain't enough anymore. Loved it when she told Rod Stewart he'd taken a load off her chest and the randy old rooster just said, "Well!"

Ace -- His hair looked awful (I thought for a moment it was in a bun in the back, instead of a pony tail.) And I don't know why Randy and Paula keep telling him to sing in falsetto - except for Frankie Valli, who has that ever worked for? And Ace was bad again, with an absolutely awful final note that was embarrassing. I don't know what the judges heard. Bottom three again but Kellie was even worse so he could be alright for another week. Also hurt by a weak arrangement that overwhelmed his tiny voice.

Katharine McPhee -- From her weak Queen song (which Simon said was almost a classic moment) to this week's number, "Someone To Watch Over Me," which I didn't think was much better. Totally lost on the low notes, barely getting through them, no sense of the song itself. Then the judges spoke. Huh? I just listened to it again to make sure. Every time she gets to "over me," and those low notes, her voice wavers and fades, even warbling off tune. Virtually every time. At one point she seems to race ahead of the admittedly slow-as-molasses band. And her vamping at the end was weak and tepid, a classic example of what kids think they're supposed to do because it's what Mariah did. It sure as hell didn't swing. Better than Ace or Kellie, but she'd be in my bottom three, easy. Of course, you know the producers are pushing her -- they'd rather see Katharine and Chris face off than Chris and Taylor. Katharine got by far the biggest closeup of the night and when the camera pulled back, they kept a close-up on the big screen on stage so she still had an intimate closeup available, one of their favorite tricks for performances they like.

THE FINALE -- And it just occurred to me that Daughtry faces one major stumbling block if he gets to the finale. Presumably, he'll have to sing an original pop tune, one of those on-demand treacly ballads. He did a good job finding a Queen song and a standard that he could work with. But faced with a by-the-numbers pop tune, Daughtry would probably look much weaker compared to Taylor or Katharine. That will be the final obstacle: maintaining his rock and roll dignity in the face of some anonymous power ballad.

The Dan Brown Conspiracy

Being being truly obsessive, I decide I need to read "Angels & Demons" before reading "The Da Vinci Code" because it's the first book introducing the Robert Landgon character played by Tom Hanks. So I go to Barnes & Noble where only three brutally battered copies of the mass market (at $8) are left on the shelf. In their place? A new slightly oversized mass market that is almost an inch taller (why?), has about 120 more pages (it's thinner too) and costs $10! Yes, after four years on the market, they've RAISED the price of "Angels & Demons" in anticipation of the movie coming out shortly. So go to Amazon.com and you'll find this version available for $10 or a hardcover version available for just over $15. Gee, and publishers say people don't want cheap, easily portable editions of books. They really want bulkier, more expensive, more "classy" trade paperback that often cost $14-$18 and are not much less expensive than heavily discounted hardcovers. How idiotic are publishers, to raise the price of a paperback that's been out for four years and wonder why people aren't snapping up books? They look to DVDs for inspiratioon and include readers' guides and author interviews in new editions of paperbacks as "extras." If they really wanted to mimick DVDs, they'd also have to make the editions nicer than the hardcovers and LESS EXPENSIVE. Many, many people would buy more books -- especially books that have been out for years or even decades -- if they were published in well-produced, portable paperbacks with attractive covers and for around $6-$7. Charge them twice that, make them wait YEARS after a hardcover comes out for even the trade paperback (which costs as much as many DVDs, if not more), and a year after that (if ever) for the truly inexpensive mass market and all you do is drive away customers. In the UK, mass market paperbacks often come out the same day as hardcovers and their covers are invariably much nicer than the US equivalent, so you don't have to feel like a dolt for buying a $6 book. God forbid US publishers learn something from them.

Wendy's CEO: I'm For Profits!

My favorite burger joint growing up was always Wendy's -- whether it was the classy aura of ever-so-slightly higher prices, the Frosty shake that you ate with a spoon or the square hamburgers...well, I don't know. Now of course I realize that all fast-food joints are the devil's work and designed to make me fat(ter). But I still root for Wendy's in the burger wars. They just named a new interim CEO since the last guy "retired" as they lose market share to McDonald's and Burger King. I love the goals of the new CEO: she wants to strengthen core business, execute new initiatives and reduce costs. Her final insight: "Our primary objectives are improving sales and profits at every Wendy's!" Golly, I would have thought that was a given.

Almost American Idol Mario Vasquez Album Out This Summer

Perhaps the most intriguing "American Idol" contest (after the beleaguered Clay Aiken) is Mario Vasquez, who was an early favorite when he made the final 12 but dropped out for "family reasons," even though his family knew nothing about it. The rumor was that Vasquez had been offered a deal by Sean Combs or someone like that if he ditched the show. But that ignores Vasquez's contractual obligations to the show and its label. So now here we are with his first single released to radio, coming out digitally on May 2 (my birthday) and hitting stores this summer. All on Arista, the label he would have been on if he'd won the show anyway. The album is filled with top producers and unlike most first CDs by Idol artists, they took their time. The single was worked on by Ne-Yo and you can also hear work by Lester Mendez (Shakira), Scott Storch (Christina Aguilera) and Luny Tunes (Daddy Yankee). First class all the way. But how long does Vasquez think he can go without giving a reasonable explanation for why he jumped ship?

Is That Paris Hilton Calling?

Just got an amusing/frightening email about Paris Hilton partnering with Gameloft for a series of mobile phone games based on the brand of Paris Hilton. The first one comes out this summer and will be geared towards "tweens/teens and fans of Paris Hilton." (Well, it wouldn't make sense to gear it to people who can't stand Paris Hilton, would it?) Among the highlight of the press release is this description of Hilton by Gameloft: “She is a model, a fashionista, an actress, an entrepreneur and a pop culture force of nature whose appeal is recognized the world over.... She is a universal brand that surpasses all boundaries.” A universal brand? Like Coke? And Paris had this to say: “I’m excited to collaborate with Gameloft to bring the Paris Hilton brand and the glamour of young Hollywood to the cell phones of all my fans around the world,” said Paris Hilton. “My phone has become an all in one entertainment device and mobile games are an integral part of that. Mobile gaming is really hot right now and I’m excited to be part of this project.” Now how can I leverage the Michael Giltz brand onto new platforms and cross-market it for maximum capitalization?

Bush: "I'm The Decider"

Not to get political, but I couldn't help giggling over Bush's defense of Rumsfeld. As our Commander in Chief put it: "I'm the decider and I decide what is best." The Decider? It sounds like a new CBS drama.

HD-DVD Hits Stores Today

The first format war of the 21st Century is launched today as HD-DVDs hit stores ahead of the Blue-Ray DVDs being supported by Sony and others. Unquestionably, the movies in either format will look terrific, with all sorts of smoothly integrated extras that will make today's DVDs seem dowdy in comparison. Oddly, Universal is releasing ONE title today: the fun sci-fi movie "Serenity." Next Tuesday comes "Apollo 13" and the ridiculously awful "Doom." Two weeks later comes "Cinderella Man," "Jarhead" and "Assault On Precinct 13" and finally on May 23 we get "The Chronicles of Riddick" and "Van Helsing" (two more godawful movies), U-571 and "The Bourne Supremacy." Why dribble these out over the first few weeks? Why include such utter dogs that only someone desperate for a movie to play on their new HD-DVD player would buy it, but still hate you for the lack of options? And why would anyone commit themselves to one format over the other until this war is over? When it comes to Blue-Ray versus HD-DVD, I suggest you be Switzerland.

DVDs Out This Week

Here's my latest NY Post DVD column, which covers the new DVD releases Moonstruck (finally out in a letterboxed edition), Orson Welles's The Complete Mr. Arkadin, Mrs Henderson Presents and a grab-bag of others. Enjoy.

Derek Jeter's Commercials

I rarely see commercials anymore, thanks to the power of DVRs. But watching the Yankee games (and having to spot one or two more while fast-forwarding), I've been paying attention to a series of ads starring Derek Jeter. Not all of them are new, but they are all bad. In the new one, Derek Jeter's drive for success is compared to Ford's drive to create great trucks. There's nothing "wrong" with the ad, it's just edited poorly. But the really bad ad is a satire of MTV's "Cribs." Derek is shown giving a tour of his house and then says he's going to take us to where the action is (the invariable line when a rapper shows us his bedroom). Derek takes us to his "garage," which is an airplane hangar of massive proportions filled with literally dozens and dozens of cars. Two sleazy stripper-types are washing one of the cars and coo "Hi, Derek!" And it finishes with him saying he's got his cars, now you get yours. What were his people thinking? Derek linking himself with slutty groupies? Derek emphasizing his massive wealth and indulging in a grotesque orgy of car buying? What a terrible stain on his image. Derek should fire his advisers. (And hire me.)

Bush Auctions Off Access To Smithsonian

A clutch of major documentary filmmakers are protesting the secret deal between the Smithsonian and Showtime cable channel to create a new commercial channel that would have the right of first refusal for any documentary that made use of the Smithsonian to a substantial degree. In short, if you want to folm at the Smithsonian or make use of its resources or interview its experts, you might very well have to turn over your film to the Smithsonian. Imagine if the Library of Congress demanded the right to publish every book that was written by people who did most of their research in its archives? The Smithsonian says, "Trust us." but they refuse to detail the agreement between it and Showtime (aren't they a PUBLIC trust?) and refuse to back out of the deal. And what does this accomplish? Do they really think they're going to garner a tidal wave of cash with an on-demand cable channel filled with wonky documentaries? Ridiculous.

Vatican Pulls Out The Stops To Promote "Da Vinci Code"

Okay, in fact the Vatican and far right Catholics are trying to denounce "The Da Vinci Code" (both the book and movie) but all they're really accomplishing is keeping a white-hot spotlight on the massively popular novel and implying that its ludicrous plot twists must have some grain of truth. First, the Preacher of the Papal Household denounced the book in a sermon. (You would think the Papal household would be the LAST one to need a preacher, but whatever.) He did it very coyly, denouncing the book and saying the problems would continue "with the imminent release of a certain film." A certain film? You mean, "The Da Vinci Code" which opens Cannes on May 17 and then opens around the world on May 19? Then the nasty little cult group Opus Dei -- which doesn't think even married couples should have sex (an exaggeration, but true in spirit) -- insists that the fictional film based on a fictional novel should carry a disclaimer so people know that it's...fiction. How stupid are they? Anyone who wondered if it could possibly be true that Jesus didn't die on the Cross and hitched up with Mary Magdalene would have all their suspicions confirmed by the actions of the Vatican. They couldn't have done more to bolster Dan Brown's credibility if they tried.

Bette Davis Alert

One of the many amusing stories from Roger Ebert's Cannes diary is this story told by a distributor about the shooting of the film "The Whales of August."

"One day," he said, "[director] Lindsay Anderson told Miss Gish she had just done a wonderful closeup. 'She should,' Bette Davis snapped. 'She invented them.'"

May will be a Bette Davis festival on TCM, with some 60 films being shown on the cable channel every Wednesday and Thursday throughout the month. The capper is "Stardust: The Bette Davis Story," a documentary by Peter Jones debuting May 3 at 8 p.m. Robert Osborne talks about his decade long friendship with Davis, her secret affair with composer Johnny Mercer and other details in a brief note at the beginning of the TCM program guide. Just based on the titles, I'm looking forward to "Parachute Jumper" and "Satan Met A Lady." Someone needs to stock up on a lot of VHS tapes.

"Two Weeks In The Midday Sun" by Roger Ebert -- The Popsurfing Review

I've been going to the Cannes Film Festival since 2000 and before my first trip I bought Roger Ebert's diary about attending the festival in 1987. And yet, I wanted to experience it myself without any preconceptions and put the book aside. Now I've finally read it and -- no surprise -- the book is a delight. It opens with Ebert in an airport terminal, his flight delayed. He pulls out a "battery powered Radio Shack portable computer" that presumably seemed like the latest in high tech but probably had about 16k of memory. (Much of his woes involve trying to file stories via phone lines. The only difference between Ebert and me is that he eventually figured the French phone system out.) His diary is a casual mix of drinking with other reporters, interviewing stars, nodding off during movies due to jet lag and the constant question of what might win the Palm d'Or. Ebert spends a lot of time with low-level personalities and high profile honchos at Cannon Films, mixing in movie set visits for films playing at the festival like "Barfly." Though he attends a lot more parties and does a lot more interviews than me, Ebert's '87 experience still strikes a chord with what Cannes is like for me --quirky, strange, exhausting and exhilirating. *** 1/2 out of ****.

Surfing Through "24"

Quote of the Day -- Bad guy Peter Weller defending his actions during a shoot-out.

Weller: I was protecting the integrity of our government.
Jack Bauer: Our government HAS no integrity!

They haven't missed a beat yet. Usually, "24" sags a tad in the middle but that hasn't happened this season and since the minutes are ticking away, I don't think it will. For all the explosions and shouting, the best scene of the show was when the President was confronted by an adviser about calling off CTU when it was about to capture Jack Bauer and claiming to call in the military when no such order was given. Their tense battle of wills as the President (who ain't so dumb) grasped at plausible explanations that the adviser shot down with careful circumspection was gripping. Stephen Spinella is wonderfully nasty as a mindless drone ("The President can do whatever he wants") who is clever in his slavish devotion. I loved it when Chloe said to him, "I don't think you're as big a jerk as you pretend to be." And while the actress who plays Chloe has about two expressions (annoyed and VERY annoyed) her character is great. Watching her slip out of custody was a hoot and when she picked up a laptop computer on her way out of CTU, it was like watching Dirty Harry grab a gun: when she can get a wireless connection to the internet, this girl is locked and loaded. My only complaint is about a terrible music cue that popped up two weeks ago during action scenes that they keep reprising; it's incredibly cheesy and sounds like an outtake from a spaghetti western.

Why Do I Bother Paying Rent?

Priv8Pete aka redstateboy pointed me to this CNN article about a guy that turned an admittedly large red paper clip into free rent for a year thanks to Craigslist and some canny self-promotion. And here I am trying to get work as a freelancer. The closest I come to thinking out of the box is buying a lottery ticket.

The Future of TV: No More Repeats

ABC has ordered a TON of fall pilots, many more than their competitors. The nominal reason? They have to find three hours to replace "Monday Night Football." But if they're smart, ABC will bow to the inevitable and launch a TV season of no repeats. Obviously shows like "24" benefit greatly from being aired all in a row, without any reruns. "Lost," in comparison, is stretching out its 22 episodes over 9 months, with so many reruns that I sometimes forget what happened last. The result? "Lost" is down 30% this season. (A creative collapse didn't help either.) Fox has already shifted to a semi-permanent state of no repeats. And everyone else needs to jump on board quick. Yes, networks usually lose money when they air an original episode of a show (typically, they cost more than the ads bring in), but the networks make it up when they air reruns. But reruns -- especially for dramas -- are collapsing in the ratings. With Tivos and Video-on-demand and iTunes and DVDs and a million other ways to capture a show, people are much less likely to miss a new episode of their favorite series. And that means they're much less likely to watch a rerun. Even sitcoms like "My Name Is Earl" grow tiresome after you spot a month of reruns looming up. The British have been doing this for years -- a show airs all its new episodes in a row and then disappears until they're ready again. This is a radical revamping and means a major influx of new programming. But so what? The networks used to dump reruns in the summer as well; now it's one of their best breeding grounds for new hits. In short, ABC would air Desperate Housewives from mid September through February sweeps. Lost would air from January through May sweeps. Ditto for most other dramas and sitcoms. Reality shows like Survivor and The Amazing Race already do this -- with two batches of episodes each year. They'll need to spend a lot more money on programming, but that's a lot cheaper than driving away viewers with endless repeats.

Be Very Glad Muriel Spark Wasn't Your Mother

The New York Times obituary of writer Muriel Spark. Quite entertaining, even though I've never read The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie or even seen the movie. Then you get to her wickedly cold estrangement from her son, who Spark "left behind" in Africa during the war when she went to America.

In her later years it became clear that she and her son, Robin, a painter who lives in Edinburgh, were irreconcilably estranged over various issues, including what he referred to as her abandonment of him, as well as her opinions about his ability as an artist and his public statements about their heritage.

Ms. Spark was harsh in her public criticism of his work and open about their estrangement. She told a newspaper: "He can't sell his lousy paintings, and I have had a lot of success. He keeps sending them to me and I don't know what to do with them. I can't put them on my wall. He's never done anything for me, except for being one big bore."

Ouch! I don't know what this says about me, but her comments make me want to read her all the more.