"Dr. Who" Season Two In UK Off To Good Start

I've been enjoying the new "Doctor Who" revivial on SciFi. I'd seen bits and pieces in the UK, but enjoyed Christopher Eccleston's performance much more after seeing it in order. Last week's return of the Daleks was especially intriguing, a nice spin on the iconic villain. Back in the UK, they're already on to a NEW Doctor, since Eccleston refused to do a second batch (and the BBC stupidly didn't include that obligation in his contract -- how British). Season Two debuted Saturday night and while it didn't naturally hit the peak of the wildly anticipated first season, David Tennant scored 8.3 million viewers, handily beating "Harry Potter" and "Deal Or No Deal." Between this and a spinoff with John Barrowman as a bisexual time traveler, the good Doctor promises to be around for quite a while.

New York Times Discovers Neil Patrick Harris

In the latest sign of how flat-footed the New York Times art section is (especially in covering TV), they just did a Sunday profile of Neil Patrick Harris for "How I met Your Mother." That not-bad sitcom debuted in September and prompted a tidal wave of Neil Patrick Harris profiles -- all peaking about three months ago. The Grey Lady is getting increasingly infirm.

Tivo Stock Hits 52-week High? Sell! Sell! Sell!!!

Tivo had good news this week, with Direct TV saying it won't completely abandon the system this year (though it will continue to market its own version to its customers) and Tivo's legal victory of $74 million over Echostar for infringing on its invention. Tivo's stock could hit a 52-week high, so if you're holding some, dump 'em. None of this news matters in the long run in the least -- Tivo is dead. Every single cable company in the country offers a set-top box that is MUCH easier to install than Tivo (no phone lines snaking through your living room). I also own a DVD recorder with a harddrive that does the same thing. And now there are countless ways to timeshift shows via on-demand, network websites or simply buying the show outright on iTunes. With all this competition, Tivo offers absolutely nothing to lure consumers and has had lots of bad ideas (like including commercials you can't fast forward through) that will drive them away. Tivo created a catchphrase (to "tivo" a show) but they didn't create a company that will last.

Weekend Box Office -- Final

A clutch of limited bows did okay -- "Friends With Money" was the leader and will go to almost 900 screens this weekend, joining "Thank You For Smoking, which went wide (for an indie) by hitting 1,100 screens and scoring a not-bad $4.5 million. "The Notorious Bettie Page" and "Kinky Boots" opened modestly and should fade quietly away. No, Disney didn't create the weak animated film "The Wild" inhouse, but just releasing it under the Disney banner weakens the brand name. Pixar has arrived just in the nick of time. "Inside Man" and "Failure To Launch" will both fall short of $100 million. And yes, there will be a "Scary Movie 5."

1. Scary Movie 4 -- $41 million
2. Ice Age: The Meltdown -- $20 million ($147.2 million)
3. The Benchwarmers -- $10 million($35.9 million)
4. The Wild -- $9.6 million
5. Take The Lead -- $6.7 million ($22.5 million)
6. Inside Man -- $6.3 million ($73.3 million)
7. Lucky Number Slevin -- $4.6 million ($14.1 million)
8. Thank You For Smoking -- $4.5 million ($11.5 million)
9. Failure To Launch -- $2.6 million ($83.2 million)
10. V For Vendetta -- $2.2 million ($65.9 million)

Surfing Through "The Sopranos"

I lost interest in "The Sopranos" in season two, so don't think I'm trying to jump on the "Sopranos ain't so good" backlash as the series finale approaches. But surely anyone would consider last night's episode a horrible mess. The gay mobster runs away and we spend an interminable amount of time in a small town where he goes to a diner, orders breakfast, takes a walk, sits by a waterfall and then goes antiquing! This took about 20 minutes of the show but seemed to last for hours, adding absolutely nothing to our knowledge about the guy or what might happen to him. (It made the endless wedding reception scene from the week before seem brisk in comparison.) Equally dull: the reactions of the other mobsters, the guy's wife and Meadow (who whines about liberal issues and then shares damning info that could get the gay guy killed -- what does she think is going to happen, that they'll march with him in a gay pride parade?). And Carmela's gone from a strong woman who grew to bitterly regret her life into a wife who pouts when Tony hasn't broken the kneecaps of the building inspector yet. Dull, dull, dull.

Weekend Box Office -- Scary

Here are the preliminary figures for the Easter weekend box office (usually not a strong one since Sunday is a wash). The most notable: Thank You For Smoking expanded to 1000 screens and did about $5,100 per screen, a pretty solid number.

1. Scary Movie 4 -- $45.1 million
2. Ice Age: The Meltdown -- $24.7
3. The Wild -- $11.1 million
4. The Benchwarmers -- $10.8 million
5. Take The lead -- $7.7 million
6. Inside Man -- $7.6 million
7. Lucky Number Slevin -- $5.9 million
8. Thank You For Smoking -- $5.1 million
9. Failure To Launch -- $3.1 million
10. V For Vendetta -- $2.5 million

I'm Working For The Wrong Dept at the NY Post

Everyone's read about the gossip page scandal at the NY Post. The main fallout for me is phone calls from my family and friends wondering when I'm going to buy my yacht and asking why I don't sell positive DVD reviews to the studios for $10,000 a pop. (Uh, cause no one asked...and it would be WRONG!) This guy is accused of asking for hundreds of thousands of dollars and an annual $10,000 stipend to plant good stories in Page Six. Now I read Liz Smith's column in the Post today (she is syndicated and is not technically on staff here but is a signature part of the paper. She discusses the demise of the NYTimes foolish attempt at gossip. One reason she says it failed? "Few successful columnists can afford to work for what the Times would pay." Good Lord, I'm assuming that a staff writer at the NYT doing an entire section like a weekly gossip column would get at least $60,000 to $80,000 and if they were an established name surely significantly more. Apparently, that's peanuts to her? I definitely chose the wrong area to write for.

Hello Again

So please forgive my absence and this orgy of postings. Back with renewed vigor on Monday.

My New Favorite Cult

A UK news story about a bishop denouncing a cult brought me to this wacky tale. Apparently, the host of the UK version of the TV gameshow "Deal Or No Deal" has been talking up this wacky German book called "The Cosmic Ordering Service: A Guide To Realizing Your Dreams." In short, just relax: if you want something, write it down and ask for it and you'll get it. The talk show host now appears on air with symbols written on his hands (such as stars, rain clouds and GRAPES) indicating his affinity for this.

[The talk show host] has said that four of his six wishes have come true, including the acquisition of a holiday home in the South of France. He believes that he got what he wanted within six months of reading Mohr’s book, given to him by his reflexologist.

In a recent interview, he said: “You’ll think I’ve gone away with the fairies — but it’s fantastic. It is quite reassuring about life after death and spiritual things. I have faith. I don’t know what shape it is. I feel uncomfortable to think it’s purely Church of England, and I’d like to learn more about Islam.”

The Cosmic Ordering Service has sold a million copies in Germany alone. Mohr maintains that if you write down a wish, or shout it out of a window, it is likely to come true.

Indeed, the author Mohr said she got the castle she asked for! (Imagine if we all asked for castles -- and you thought the real estate boom had peaked.) But the plot thickens. Look up the book on Amazon.co.uk and you find out it's the Number One bestseller for them -- and yet, there are NO official reviews or fan comments. Huh? The most obscure books in the world have at least a few reader comments and the number one book on Amazon has NONE? Fishy. The US listing does have eight or so comments, including one from a guy who finds it helpful to write down his requests on a piece of paper and then set them on fire. (I'll stick to bellowing out my window "I want my computer to work!")

But the fun doesn't stop there: the books recommended for people checking this one out have such delightfully absurd titles as "I'm Rich Beyond My Wildest Dreams. I Am. I Am. I Am. How To Get Everything You Want In Life" and "Write It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want And Getting It" and "Ask And It Is Given: Learning To Manifest Your Desires." Oh the fun goes on.

But caveat emptor. One review on the American site says this: "Yes, "cosmic ordering" works, but if you're tempted to try it, resist! It's not the "Unified Field" that answers your request, but a far more sinister, demonic personality. You'll likely experience a string of fullfilled requests, but eventually, there's a price to pay: broken home, depression, drug addiction, miserable unhappiness - any number of possiblilies from a long list of the signs and symptoms of spiritual death." Yeah, miserable unhappiness...IN A CASTLE!

And finally, for the capper, when did the UK paperback come out? September 11, 2001.

USA Today's Across The USA

Directorboy and I were trolling for offbeat news stories that might inspire a "Law & Order" episode and that led me to read a section of USA Today I'd always skipped over: a 50 state roundup of local news tidbits compiled from AP stories by some cub reporter. It's a crazy, entertaining melange of true crime stories, dull press releases, desperate attempts to find SOMETHING newsworthy for every state and the delightfully odd. It's not available online as far as I can tell, but here are the highlights from yesterday's column.

In Santa Cruz, California, military recruiters left a job fair when about 60 anti-war demonstrators bullied them into going away. Shouldn't the military be better at fighting than granola-eating war protestors?

In Tallahassee, Florida, they're proposing legislation about pythons. 95 pythons were captured last year in Florida after being set free and that doesn't count "a 13-footer that exploded after trying to eat an alligator."

In New Bedford, Massachusetts, a former teacher pled guilty to faking cancer and collecting more than $35,000 from friends and coworkers. 27 year old Heather Faria used the money to go on vacation and buy a big-screen TV, jewelry and other stuff.

In Montana, absolutely nothing happened and they were reduced to reporting that students in Billings raised $189 to buy a new "therapy dog" for their school counselor.

In Williston, North Dakota, students who want to enter their prom will have to take a Breathalyzer test.

In Ogden, Utah a charter school thought it had booked Jon Stewart for a lecture when in fact it had booked Jon A. Stewart, a businessman and part-time professional wrestler. Now that's the place where I want to send my kids.

And in Las Vegas, Nevada, an "international sleight-of-hand jewel thief" (is that an actual thing?) made a deal with prosecutors after ripping off several Vegas stores. 75 year old Doris Payne pleaded no contest to two burglary charges and may avoid jail time. A 75 year old female international jewel thief? That's at least a TV movie, if not a series or even a feature film.

Overnight TV Ratings: "Commander In Chief" Not Dead Yet

ABC's much beleagured "Commander In Chief" returned last night. It didn't set the world on fire, but it did improve on its "American Inventor" lead-in and beat a rerun of "ER" in a key demographic. It gets another pass next week when its competition is all repeats and then come the originals and a real test for the show. The big TV scheduling news is that ABC will almost certainly move "Grey's Anatomy" to Monday nights at 9 p.m. next season. It's proven it can flourish on its own, Monday Night Football is gone and ABC needs an anchor for that night. Ta-da: "Anatomy" goes to Monday and the 10 p.m. Sunday slot after "Housewives" is available to launch another hit. (They hope.) In dorkier news, Fox made a deal with its affiliates to put 60% of its lineup online the day after it airs, with local stations taking a cut of the proceeds. The shows will be available on Fox's MySpace website. (It's not clear whether they'll be streaming them like ABC or what.) Why only 60%? The only news story anyone should write in the future is about the shows that AREN'T available online the next day after airing -- if people want to pay for shows you just aired for free,why not let them? And Fox has a MySpace page?

Dave Chappelle Still Explaining Himself

For a man who freaked out over the spotlight, Chappelle sure is making the rounds. To Esquire in a ten page spread:

"The bottom line was, white people own everything, and where can a black person go and be himself or say something that's familiar to him and not have to explain or apologize?"

Uh, Comedy Central? You know, the place where Chappelle had complete creative control and was praised and showered with millions for doing just that? Just a thought.

American Idol -- My Two cents

Ryan Seacrest said Simon looks grumpy. No wonder: this is the worst batch of singers the show has ever produced. And now I have to recallibrate my claims about Idol being a variety show, viewers watching to hear a really good performance, etc. That ain't happening this year, but I still find the show as engaging as ever. So yes, those factors help, but they aren't essential. I guess ultimately it IS just a reality show. I could never be surprised that Bucky would leave, but I actually thought his performance of Fat Bottomed Girls was about as good as he'd ever been -- I actually understood a fair chunk of the words. And it's cruel, but I loved watching Ace's terrified deer-in-the-headlights look during the entire results show on Wednesday. Obviously, when he does get eliminated, it won't be such a surprise. And how much do the producers want to keep Kellie in for a few more weeks? You can tell the artists they love because the director pulls out all the stops with camera angles, lighting, editing, etc? And why didn't any of the judges mention how horribly out of tune, off key, pitchy etc she was during her performance of "Bohemian Rhapsody?" (And going back in time, why didn't the judges mention Taylor started singing "Take Me Home (Country Roads)" in too high a key?" And Simon was right about Daughtry. His 30 second performance of "Under Pressure" was terrific and hinted at the triumph he might have had. And what will our hard rocker sing during standards week?

Danger Mouse Is The New Lee Scratch Perry

Danger Mouse is one of the most prolific and indiscriminate collaboraters around -- bless him. Now under the moniker of Gnarls Barkley he and Ce-Lo have the Number One single in the UK, "Crazy." Crazy delicious. This follows up Danger Mouses work on songs inspired by the Cartoon Network lineup. Here in the US, I was glad to see Alan Jackson in the Top Ten with his white gospel music album, "Precious Memories."Until Billboard switched its charts to reflect actual sales totals rather than just what the major chains told them was selling, you would never have seen such a diverse mix on the charts as you do today, with country, hip-hop, emo and adult contemporary cheek by jowl. Now if only Bookscan could overthrow the tyranny of the New York Times bestseller list, which ignores entire genres like kid's books.

The Book Of Jobs

That is my name for the technological woes I have suffered recently. I THINK I have stabilized my computer -- but we shall see. Not to turn this haphazard site into a technology blog, but here are the technology stumbling blocks I still face:

1. My cell phone gets NO reception in my new apartment, making it a $60 a month answering machine.
2. My Maxtor backup harddrive is still not working properly
3. My computer has no sound.
4. My michaelgiltz.com website is hopelessly out of date because of compatilibilty problems with the lame server I have it based on (for the moment)
5. My surround sound system on my TV is not working
6. My DVD recorder is not hooked up properly

So phone, tv, stereo, and computer are all frustrating me in one way or another. Now where is my abacus?

"Brokeback Mountain": Wal-Mart Says Yes, Prisons Say No

Brokeback Mountain continues to make news. The New York Times reports that the lovable American Family Association is calling for a boycott of Wal-Mart over Brokeback Mountain. To show how weak the AFA has become, they're not even trying to stop Wal-Mart from carrying the DVD. No, what they object to is the fact that Wal-Mart has put posters promoting the DVD in the front of its stores "where children can see them." The AFA spokesperson also says since he doesn't consider the movie a blockbuster that Wal-mart's agenda must be to "normalize" homosexuality. Wal-Mart is ignoring them, which is nice. But how sad they can't even pretend that anyone objects to the movie itself. All they want is Wal-Mart to take down those posters, because obviously any kid who sees Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger on a poster would turn gay or might forget to mock and belittle gay kids at their school the next day. Meanwhile, Reuters reports a correctional officer in Massachusetts will be disciplined for showing Brokeback to inmates. They don't object to the content; they simply try to avoid movies with sexually explicit scenes. I wonder if the prison also avoids movies with violence. I doubt it; but if they do, those prisoners must have seen The Little Mermaid a thousand times by now.

"24: The Movie" Is Dead?

Kiefer Sutherland signed a multi-pronged deal with Fox that will make him an executive producer on 24 and commits him to three more seasons. (Fox has already picked up the show for Day Six. Sutherland will be around for day seven and eight assuming they pick them up as well.) The pact is priced at around $40 million, which the Hollywood Reporter says would make Sutherland the highest paid actor in a drama.Since he's committing to 72 episodes, that makes it slightly more than $500,000 an episode, very good money but not near the heights that sitcom stars make, even though their work week is much easier. And no other actor on a drama has a bigger paycheck? I guess that's the problem with being part of an ensemble on Desperate Housewives, Lost, et al. There are so many paychecks, no individual actor can score big. But the most telling part of the deal is what's NOT included: there's no mention of a feature film. Maybe everyone came to their senses and realized doing a film as well as the series would be overkill and why mess with a good thing.

Weekend Box Office -- Ice Age 2 A Worldwide Hit

Here's the weekend box office total.s Ice Age 2 dropped almost 50%, but since it opened so big, that doesn't seem telling to me. The movie is still far outpacing the original. Also, overseas it is a blockbuster. In the rest of the world, Ice Age 2 grossed $93 million, bringing its overseas box office to $156 and its worldwide gross hitting $270 million. Yes, there will be an Ice Age 3. I was wrong about Thank You For Smoking, which continues to build on good word of mouth and hits the top ten. Next week, it'll be on 1000 screens. In limited release, the Jennifer Aniston drama Friends With Money opened on 28 screens with a very strong $22,000 per screen average.

1. Ice Age: The Meltdown -- $34.5 ($116 million total)
2. Benchwarmers -- $20.5 million
3. Take The Lead -- $12.8 million
4. Inside Man -- $9.2 ($66.1 million)
5. Lucky Number Slevin -- $7.1 million
6. Failure To Launch -- $4.1 ($79.1 million)
7. ATL -- $3.8 ($17.3 million)
8. V For Vendetta -- $3.4 ($62.3 million)
9. Phat Girlz -- $3.1 million
10. Thank You For Smoking -- $2.4 ($6.3 million)

ABC Will Post TV Shows Online For Free

In an interesting new twist, ABC will post its top TV shows online for free at ABC.com. They'll do it for two months starting during May sweeps, and include everything from Lost and Desperate Housewives to Alias and Commander in Chief. These are NOT downloads -- you won't be able to put them on your iPod. But you can watch the show and jump "chapters" -- but you won't be able to skip the ads. It's just another new wrinkle in making product available in any way possible to reach viewers. Doing it during May sweeps -- one of the biggest events of the year in TV -- is also gutsy, though continuing the experiment during the repeat-heavy days of June is meaningless. Presumably, they'll also be available as digital downloads at iTunes, though the news story doesn't say. In short, Lost will air on ABC. You can tape it on your VCR or DVR or other Tivo-like device and watch it again as many times as you want, when you want, for free. You can even skip over the ads. The next day, you can also spend $2 and buy it as an ad-free digital download and play it on your computer and iPod. You can also go to ABC.com if you were stupid enough to miss the show AND fail to record it. There, you can watch the show on your computer but have to sit through the ads. If you're a Desperate Housewives fan, you can also watch it rerun on Lifetime that same week, also with ads (or tape the rerun and skip through them later). Did I miss anything?

And Then BLOGGER was down this morning

I am a technological leper.

Dante's Seventh Level Of Hell...

...is computer hell. Knock on wood, but after WEEKS of travails, I'm slightly back on my feet. Still can't get my backup hard drive to work (Maxtor One Touch II), still haven't rescued all my email and for some reason earthlink ain't communcating with the online version so I can update my address book, can't find the bookmarks I tried to save for Firefox, can't find the emails I tried to copy to disc and a million other details. But I seem to be able to go online without being kicked off after a few minutes, having to reboot etc and I've got the latest version of Norton Firewall/Anti-Virus installed and -- boy, was this difficult -- actually got the online update service to work so it's actually functioning properly. All I had to do was rebuild my computer from scratch and spendi days and days on the phone calling earthlink and dell et al and pestering my computer savvy friends (especially biboy) with pleas for help until they learned to just not answer the phone. I spent literally 14 hours on the computer today alone just trying to get things working. This has been going on in one form or another since I moved on Feb 28. If only I could have afforded a Mac. I'll be popping and surfing again on Monday.

Pro Baseball Players Get Married

Okay, it was just a prank by two veterans on the Toronto Blue Jays who got punked by teammates earlier. But I love that it was the shortstop and second baseman because those are two players who work more symbiotically than almost anyone else except the pitcher and the catcher (no jokes please). Those are also the positions the players played in the comic gay baseball novel The Dreyfuss Affair, which someone is always threatening to turn into a movie. (Which is fine with me as long as they change the ending.) But it is telling that they could pull this prank and everyone would joke about it, down tothe players telling the reporters were they went on their honeymoon. Progress takes all sorts of unexpected forms, doesn't it?

America Online is Dead

Now it's AOL, for real. Just like Kentucky Fried Chicken is gone and is simply KFC. My name, by the way, is now officially MG. I'm not down with that cumbersome Michael Giltz anymore. Or should it be MJG? MG might be too much like the director McG. So call me MJG. Though of course that's pretty close to MJ, aka Michael Jackson aka every child's favorite playmate. So call me MJG but really fast so no one thinks I'm a thriller.

DVDs Out Today: Brokeback, Narnia, etc.

I was up late last night watching some DVDs to prepare for NEXT week's column. Hence my lack of timely posting. Why not check out my latest NY Post column covering the DVDs coming out today? Among the titles: Brokeback Mountain, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, a Mel Brooks boxed set and 9 to 5.

Open Thread

Now I'm doing an interview with author E. Lynn Harris. Talk amongst yourselves.

Overnight TV Ratings -- Gators Triumph (But Not In Ratings)

As an alumni of the University of Florida (are you an alumni if you never graduated?), I was thrilled to see the Florida Gators win in basketball. However, they cruised to victory so decisively that it wasn't good for the ratings and the game was lower rated than usual. NBC's Deal Or No Deal drew almost 18 million viewers to this family friendly show that is completely mindless -- America clearly loves game shows and family fare like this and Idol/ Look for overkill with LOTS of game shows in the summer and fall. Prison Break was below average with 8 million viewers (even though its male audience wasn't watching basketball) while 24 was definitely down from its usual perch with 13 million viewers -- still a strong showing, big improvementon Prison Break and a big twist at the finale. The WB's 7th Heaven is rightly in its final days (it's been a good long run) and Everwood performed modestly as well. With the WB and UPN combining this fall, it first seemed hard to imagine mixing all those shows together. Now with Everwood and One Tree Hill and Veronica Mars and Reba and so many others under-performing, they may struggle to find much worth keeping. ABCs Miracle Workers flopped at 10 p.m. It's a family show and should be on earlier but I'm glad it's dying -- forcing people to be on reality TV so they can get life-saving or altering surgery is just creepy.

Surfing Through "24"

Only eight hours left and the show hasn't stumbled yet. Usually by this time, 24 has hit a weak patch, with a ludicrous plot twist or character-in-danger storyline that stretches believability even by this show's standards. That hasn't happened yet this season (except for the oh-so-brief sexual harrassment nut -- but we can only hope they've dropped that idea or dispense with it quickly). SPOILER: And now we find out the President has been pulling a Bush: behaving like an idiot so he can mastermind evil deeds. Very satisfying, though it would be nice to see Jack Bauer actually get something done for once WITHOUT screaming at the top of his voice. Five years on and the plot twists have gone from jaw-dropping to giggle-inducing, but it's great fun. They really should retire the show, take a year off and then launch a movie franchise. Or squeeze out another three days and call it quits. But doing a movie alongside the series would be overkill that ruins everything.

Katie Couric Leaving Today -- Who Wins? Who Loses?

The announcement will apparently come any day now about Katie Couric leaving Today after 15 years and moving to CBS. Who wins? No one. Who loses? Everyone. 15 years is a long time for anyone to get up at 3 am, so don't begrudge Katie the desire to get more money for easier work. She'll also add 60 Minutes to her portfolio, giving that show a much needed boost (though if she does embarrassing puff pieces like Ed Bradley's wet kiss with Tiger, it won't help). But CBS is dumping Bob Schieffer, who'd actually grown the evening news audience while ABC and NBC declined. And getting gets the "prestige" of the evening news slot, something no one under 50 watches any more. Today doesn't win because change is never good in morning tv. And Good Morning America may not win, because their desperate need for an evening news anchor means they may very well break up Charlie and Diane just when those two could have had their best shot (ever) to catch up with Today. The ONLY time leadership changes hands is when someone leaves. So it's bad news all around, frankly, with the most likely scenario being that after a huge initial tune-in for Couric everyone settles right back where they were both in the evening news and in morning tv.

Surfing Through "Brick"

Watched this movie again on opening weekend. Terrific fun. Yes, the femme fatale is a weak link, but not disastrously so. I spotted a lot of fun details that didn't register the first time, like the way our hero (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) always walks everywhere in this LA-set noir, which is of course crazy since no one walks in LA. His rapport with Brain is great, Lukas Haas grew on me as the villain (I wanted someone more menacing the first time I saw the film) and the sparring with the vice principal is worth the price of admission. Am I crazy to want to see a sequel? Yes. *** 1/2 (out of 4)

"American Idol" Jumps On Poker Craze

Well, actually they're just having Kenny "The Gambler" Rogers perform this week. And while I know the show has a broad family audience, aren't Barry Manilow and Kenny Rogers tilting just a tad old fogeyish?