The British Press In A Nutshell

I love the over-the-top British press,which dissects every inch of every insta-celebrity that appears. Case in point: the sudden success of rock band The Ordinary Boys. They achieved their fame the old-fashioned way: by having their lead singer appear on Celebrity Big Brother and fool around on his girlfriend with another contestant to the delight of England. My favorite quote comes from a bandmate who hated the idea of Big Brother:

"One of [the tabloids] rang up and said they wanted to do a positive kiss-and-tell on Preston. They said, don't worry, we'll make it really complimentary to him, we'll say he's got an eight-inch cock and he can do it 20 times a night. When I said that I wasn't interested, they became a bit threatening and said they'd do a negative one instead." A note of concern enters his voice. "You haven't seen an article saying he's got a one-inch cock and he can't get it up, have you?"