Surfing Through "American Idol"

The boys sang last night and with the judges bickering, Ryan calling out Simon and of course the occasional singing, it was great fun. On a scale of 1 to 10

Patrick -- "Come To My Window" -- 4. Boring. His friend in the audience had the most horrifically Botoxed lips I have ever seen.
David -- "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" -- 4. This year's JPL, he couldn't have looked more dorky when he danced. I like how Paula said in the clips that "The package is great," but he looked blindsided when the judges gave him a thumbs down. Most embarrassing moment: when the female Idols mewed like kittens.
Bucky -- "Simple Man" -- 5. Growled and mumbled so much I could barely understand him. Looked dazed at the end. Shouldn't he be on Nashville Star instead?
Will -- "I Want You Back" -- 7. I was surprised they had him and David (the other Tiger Beat teen) perform so close together. Will has a sibilant "s" and dance moves clearly performed in front of a mirror, like, a thousand times when he was growing up. It was goofy fun and Paula was right to mention Bobby Brady. Worked the camera well. Has more in common than you might imagine with UK "Idol" winner Will Young.
Sway -- "Reasons" -- 3. I thought his falsetto performance was terrible and weak but you gotta love seeing his dad clapping desperately out of tune.
Chris -- "Wanted: Dead Or Alive" -- 9. This didn't seem like an "Idol" audition. It seemed like a performance. The flames in the background were dorky but he was poised and convincing. Very strong.
Kevin -- "One Last Cry" -- 2. Paula and Randy were overly kind. Like David, he is only here for his backstory and personality, not for his singing.
Gedeon -- "Shout" -- 7. Surprisingly smooth and convincing. A dark horse.
Elliot -- "If You Love Me" -- 6. He needs to stay on, just to mirror the plotline of the new movie American Dreamz. I thought Elliot was weak on the fast parts but found his groove very much so on the slow portions of this Stevie Wonder song. Not a complete performance, though.
Bobby -- "Copacabana" -- 3. Very Vegas and very not-good. At least he took the song seriously instead of making it jokey.
Ace -- "Father Figure" -- 9. Note for note like the George Michael version and extremely effective. Needs to avoid cheesy, lingering looks into the camera. That's what did in Constantine.
Taylor -- "Levon" -- 6/7. Insists the Elton John classic is a personal favorite because "the lyrics mean so much to me." That makes him the only guy in the world who has the slightest clue what "Levon" is about, since it features typically opaque lyrics by Bernie Taupin. ("Rocket Man?" Same problem.) Did okay, but if he keeps tilting his body to the side like a blind man (you are NOT Ray Charles) it's gonna drive me to drink. Can a white man shuck and jive? Taylor is doing his darndest.